mmisionari: June 19, 2017- Day 2

1 p.m.
This morning has been incredible. So much to take in. Those tiny hands in mine....wow. Being with the pre-K class is so different than my preschool class in America. Circle time they all helped unroll and carry the carpet. Shoes off to be on carpet. For nap time, they all sleep nearly on top of one another on the carpet rug. on the floor. no blanket. no pillow. no stuffed animal. no toy.

I love it here. I love the kids. Already they have my heart. Red dirt.

I'll be leading devotions Monday evening and morning. I teach school chapel Wednesday morning. For both, I want to talk about Josh. 1:9 and Heb. 13:5. I want to use the fact that all of us have a shadow. It's there, even when we can't see it. You, God, are there with us all the time, too, even when we can't see You. You promise to never leave or forsake us. I'm sure all of us have felt alone. I have. A lot of hard things have happened in my life. Abuse. Bad and hurtful family. Darkness and storms. I thought I was alone in those dark times. They were dark and I couldn't see. But just like my shadow is always there, even in the dark, God was there with me in the dark times. He has never left me and He promises He never will. He's like my shadow: He'll never go away, even if I can't see Him.

I think that's what I want to share. But God, give me the words You want me to share. Help me to know what You want me to impart...does the cow and tether fit somehow? Or was that something just for me? It makes sense in light of the stuff I left behind regarding counseling. Only you can free me from the things that tether me.

9:55 pm
It is still so surreal that I'm here in Africa. When will reality set in?

I've been coughing since I woke up this morning. Smoke coming through the window irritated my lungs and I'm still coughing.

At times, I feel tears well up and a sob rise in my throat. But, I can't cry.

This afternoon after school...being taken by the hand by several kids and being led around...I felt like that cover picture of "Kisses from Katie." It was that missionary feel, I suppose. It's surreal and amazing all at once.

At devos tonight with the kids, I had a little one- Erick- that sat in front of me on a bench. I rubbed my hand on his coarse head of hair, hoping he felt how loved and precious he is.

It's stark...the differences between here and America. The kids here walk for miles to get to school. Little 3-5 year olds walk miles to come to school....

....and yet, they seem so happy. They're full of love and life and joy, it seems.

Today I was in the pre-K class. 14 students. They had circle time. They all helped the teacher carry the rug to the middle of the classroom and unroll it. They sat on the edge of the rug with no effort on the teacher's part to get the to do so. All of them put their own shoes on, if they had any. They walked out of the classroom to the bathroom on their own....

I read a book to them- 'Mouse Paint'. I taught them to 'Kiss your brain' like we do in my preschool class, and taught the '5 Little Monkeys Swingin' from a Tree' song. I played with them on the floor. Laughed. Took pictures and laughed some more. They were fascinated with my tattoo, trying to rub it off. They also were fascinated with my jewelry and my hair. They rubbed their hands in my hair and I did not care.

This people...their smile...eyes all the same color...they're beautiful.

Lord, I'm all in. Have your way these next two weeks....